No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
