Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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