i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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