there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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