Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
