I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
