So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
