I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize