At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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