You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
