i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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