so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
