oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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