I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
