i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
