Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
