I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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