I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
