A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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