I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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