so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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