you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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