I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
