So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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