you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
