why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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