I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
