How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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