I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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