i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
