So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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