Me. At least after what I've been through.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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