Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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