this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You're like the curious george of whores
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
