that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
