i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
