How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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