just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
