If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
