im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize