it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
