Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize