she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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