If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
