I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
