You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
we should paint friendship bongs
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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