what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
