I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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