Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
