But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
