If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
