Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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