Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
