I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize