she woke up with a sticky ear
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
