Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
