i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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