Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
